如何吸引别人的兴趣

原文:How to be more interesting to other people

作者:Penelope Trunk

翻译:Oneleo

For a while, I was a visual artist. Well, sort of. I mean, I made money from it. But as you may know, I am a big advocate of specializing, and I realized that I had a better chance of being outstanding in my field by focusing on writing instead of visual art.

有一段时间,我是一个视觉艺术家,当然我的意思是,有那么一点。我靠它赚钱。但是,正如你所知,我是一个专攻的支持者,并且我意识到了,我在写作方面比在视觉艺术方面更有可能取得杰出的成绩。

But I did learn some lessons from my visual art mentors, and one really cool thing someone taught me is that the color I choose is most interesting where it intersects with another color. Just knowing the right color to use is not the clever, interesting thing. Rather, interesting is when I am unsure what the two colors will do when they interact. (Here’s a great set of paintings that illustrate this idea.)

但是,从我的艺术导师那里我确实得到了很多教训,并且一件很冷酷的事情是,一个人告诉我,我选择的颜色是很有趣的,因为这种颜色和另外一种颜色相交叉。仅仅只是知道使用正确的颜色,这并不是什么聪明的,有趣的事情。然而,有趣的是,我并不确定当两种颜混在一起会产生什么影响。(这里有一个工具绘画板或许可以帮助你)

The same is true for writing. The interesting part of writing is not the part of the piece where you know exactly where it’s going. The interesting part is when you get to an unplanned moment in a paragraph and you surprise yourself by what you write next. It’s the moment of uncertainty, when you have to look inside yourself to keep going, and pull out something you didn’t know you had before.

对于写作也是有相同的道理。有趣的并不一定是你准确知道故事何去何从的那一部分.最有趣的部分是,当你写到了事先没有计划的一段,而你却被之后你所写出来的那部分而感到吃惊!这个时刻就是不确定,你不得不从你的内心深处寻找继续写下去的那些你之前从不晓得的事情。

When I taught writing at Boston University, it took most of the semester to get students to get to that moment. Most people are scared to get there.

当我在Boston 大学教写作时,那是需要一学期的大部分时间让学生们能够找到这个不确定的时刻。但是,大多数人害怕达到这个时刻!

That’s why most people do not appear to be as interesting as they really are.

那便是为什么大多数人并没有表现出他们深藏在内心的兴趣!

We each have spots in our lives where two colors are coming together and we’re not sure what will happen. That’s the part we should talk about when we talk about ourselves. If you limit the conversation, discussing only what you are certain about, then there’s no chance to stand on equal footing with your conversation partner. You stand on equal footing when you both reveal your struggles with what you don’t know yet, and the conversation can contribute to the answer.

在我们每个人的生活中也同样很多个点,在这个点当两种颜色同时汇聚到这里,我们并不确定将会发生什么!这个部分就是当我们谈论自己的时候应该讨论的。如果你限定了你们的谈话,仅仅只是讨论你所关心的,那么你将丧失了与你谈话的那个人处于平等的立足点的机会。只有当你们开始争论那些你们并不知道的事情的时候,这个时候你们才站在了平等的立足点,那么这段对话才会找到最终的答案!

A while back I wrote about Moira Gunn, and how she is good at interviewing people because she can find what’s interesting about them. She interviews scientists, and she is a pro at finding the quirky, unexpected moment within the topic of their science.

不久之前我写关于Moira Gunn的时候写到,她是怎样擅长采访别人,那是因为她总是能够找到他们共同感兴趣的话题。当她采访科学家时,她是发现跌宕起伏的能手,在他们科学主题限定内的不可预期。 

You can do this with any subject. I do it with careers. Every week, for my column in the Boston Globe, I interview someone about their career. The beginning of the conversation is always the part they expect—where they tell me what they know about themselves and their career. There is not room for a real conversation. I just take notes.

你可以对于不同的主题都这样做。我就在职业生涯里这样做的。每周,我会从Boston Globe的栏目中面试一些人关于他们的职业生涯。对话的开始通常都是预期的那部分,他们会告诉我,他们对于自己和事业所知道的那些。这个时候没有任何真正对话的空间,我仅仅只是做些笔记。

And then I don’t use them. Because then I try to ask questions to get to what they don’t know. What are they trying to figure out? And we have a conversation about how people do that. And that is the part I use. Because that is the part that is interesting.

然后我并不用那些笔记。因为当我试着问那些他们并不知道的问题时。他们试图弄清楚那是什么?我们这才拥有了关于人们如何去做的对话。这就是我经常采用的,因为这就是那有趣的部分。

So look, interesting does not come from greatness. Interesting comes from conflict. Tolstoy opens Anna Karenina with the line, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This is true of everything—not just families. So talk with people about the issues and problems you’re struggling with. That is how to be interesting. You don’t have to describe your life as if it were all struggle, with all the drama of Russian literature. But find that small moment when two of your own colors collide, and point it out to make interesting conversation.

如此看来,兴趣并非来自于伟大。兴趣来自于争执。 Tolstoy以这样一句话开始了Anna Karenina:“幸福的家庭都拥有同样的幸福,不幸的家庭却各有各的不幸。”这对于任何事情都是真实的并不仅仅对于家庭。因此同人们谈论一些他们正在挣扎的那些事情和问题吧!那才是如何变得有趣。你不必用俄国戏剧文学来描述你生活中的挣扎,仅仅只是需要找到那个微妙的时刻当两种颜色相互碰撞,把它说出来成为一个有趣的对话。



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