如何有效地与人谈判?

原文:How to negotiate more effectively with anyone

作者:Penelope Trunk

翻译:OneLeo

During my first job interview, my mom drove me to 31-Flavors while we practiced interview questions.

在我第一次找工作参加面试的时候,我妈妈开车带我去31-Flavor进行面试练习。

One question we did not practice was “How much money are you expecting?”

我们没有练习过的一个问题是:你期望拿多少钱?

When the ice cream store owner asked, I said, “Well, my parents are cutting off my allowance for the summer so I’d like twenty dollars a week.” That seemed like a lot because I wouldn’t need money for school lunches.

当这个冰激凌店店主问我这个问题时,我回答:“嗯,我父母从我的津贴中扣掉部分放在夏季里,因此我想一个星期二十美元”这个数字看似很多,因为我在学校吃午饭是不需要花钱的。

Later, my mom pointed out that I gave a number so low that it would have been illegal. In the end, the owner paid me minimum wage for a 40-hour week, and because I had asked for so little at the beginning, by the time I was a doing the job of a manager I was making less than some scoopers.

过后,我的母亲指出来说我给的这个数字太低了,看上去是违法的。最后,店主付了我一周40个工作时的最少薪水,那是因为我在一开始开价太少了,到我做经理的时候, 我赚的钱甚至少于手下。

So I quit, and moved to a pizza parlor where I got extra money for cutting the salami with the machine that cut peoples’ fingers. It wasn’t until later in my career that I realized there are established strategies for salary negotiations, and if you follow them, you will likely get the salary you deserve without risking the loss of a limb.

因此,我放弃了,并且转向一个皮萨店,在这里我可以得到更多的钱做意大利香肠切割机。直到我职业生涯的晚期,我才意识到其实关于薪水谈判是有既定的策略的,如果你能够遵守这些原则,那么你将有可能得到一份你渴望的薪水.

I got a lot of practice doing that in my twenties – having about ten jobs in ten years. I got a sense of who would negotiate and who wouldn’t. I learned to read people in business. And then I realized that you can use these skills for a lot more than just salary.

我在二十几岁的时候得到了很多锻炼,在十年期间里我做了十分工作。我对于谁会谈判而谁不会已经有了一种直觉。我学会了在商务会谈中如何读懂别人,并且我还意识到,其实你可以把这些技能用在更多的场合而不仅仅只是薪水的谈判。

One of my bosses gave me the book Getting To Yes. He said the book would help me manage because every management moment actually has implied negotiations.

我有一个老板送给我一本书:Getting To Yes。这本书将会对我的管理有益,因为任何一个管理的时刻都相当于一个隐含的谈判。

When I went to couples therapy with my husband, the therapist assigned us reading. (Who knew therapist assigned books?) But guess what it was? Getting to Yes.

当我和我的丈夫去参加夫妻疗法时,这个治疗师安排我们读书。(谁知道他会给什么书?)猜猜怎么着,这本书就是Getting To Yes。 

It was a great idea. Because then instead of paying a therapist to entertain our insane ideas of changing each other. We learned how to make the other person feel happy about giving us what we want by making sure that they get something, too.

这个主意不错,与其付给这个医生用一些娱乐的疯狂的主意来改变我们倒不如这样读一本书。我们学到如何让对方给我们我们想要的东西却感到开心——他们也得到了某些东西。

So I was excited when I had the opportunity to interview the author of Getting toYes, William Ury. He’s director of the Global Negotiation Project at Harvard, and his new book is The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes. Here are his five best tips for doing well in negotiations.

因此当我有机会能够拜访Getting To Yes 的作者William Ury 时,我是异常兴奋的。 他是哈佛全球谈判项目的导师,并且他的一本新书:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes 中有5个对我们谈判的最好的提醒。

1. Take a break.
Ury calls this “going to the balcony” in order to get a big picture handle on what’s going on so that you are not getting too worked up over irrelevant details. He says, “
When we negotiate when we’re angry we give the best speech we’ll ever regret.”

1. 稍事休息

Ury 把这称为“走向阳台”,为了能够使我们对于正在发生和讨论的事情有一个更好的图画表现出来,以至于你不会被一些毫不相干的细节所累。他说:“当我们在生气时进行谈判,我们会说出令我们后悔一辈子的话。”

2. Know your BATNA.
This is negotiator-speak for “best alternative to a negotiated agreement.” That is, if you have to walk away, what’s the best you can get? This tells you how much power you have in negotiations. The person who needs the agreement the least has the best BATNA and the most power.

2. 知道你自己的BATNA

如果,你输了,你还能得到什么?这个说明在谈判中你有多少优势。越是不需要协议的人,越有着更好的BATNA,越是有利。

3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Ury describes negotiation as an exercise in influence. “You need to change someone’s mind, so you need to know where they are right now.” This means listening more than talking. And the first question to ask is Why. You will hear their needs, but you need to know the underlying cause for the need. For example, if your boss wants you to work a 16-hour day. To negotiate with your boss, you need to understand why – what needs to get done in those hours. Maybe you can get it done a different way.

3. 换位思考

Ury描述谈判犹如是影响力的一个练习。“你需要去改变某人的想法,因此你需要知道他们是怎么想的。”这意味着,要多听少说。而且你要问的第一个问题是为什么?你将会听到他们所想要的,但是你也必须知道他们为什想要这些的原因。举例说明,如果你的老板想要你一天工作16个小时。如果与老板就此事谈论时,你需要弄明白为什么?在这些工作小时里,他们需要你做些什么呢?或许你可以换一种想法去思考。

4. Learn to say no.
“In order to get to the right deal, you need to be able to say no to the wrong deal. Saying no is fundamental to the process of negotiation.” 

Tip from the department of great-if-you’re-him: Warren Buffet once said that he doesn’t understand “getting to yes” because he just says no until he sees a perfect yes. Buffet says you only have to give four or five great yes responses in his work in order to be a billionaire.

4. 学会说不

“为了能够得到一个不错的协定,你需要有能力拒绝一些错误的协定,因此,学会说不是一个谈判过程中的基础。”

great-if-you’re-him小组给的建议是:Earren Buffet 曾经说过,他无法理解“Gettting To Yes”,因为他会一直说“不”直到他认为那是一个完美的“是”。Buffet 说:要想成为亿万富翁,只需要在工作中能说出四,五个关键的“是”。

5. Be clear on your values.
For those of us who might not see a perfect yes, deciding on no is more complicated, and we have to be really clear in our own minds about what we value and what we need. Sometimes a no is surrounded by a deeper yes. For example. You say yes to the values, no to the tactics and yes to going forward. Ury calls this a positive no. But he warns that if you’re in doubt, then the answer if probably no.

What I take away from Ury is that good negotiation is a combination of good self-knowledge and good people skills. And, not surprisingly, this is the combination that gets you a lot of things in life.

There are opportunities in each of our lives to practice negotiations constantly – even, as Web Worker Daily points out, in email. You can do it with a spouse, with a boss, with your neighbor who doesn’t clean the yard. The better you get at the small stuff, the easier the big moments of negotiation will feel.

5. 认清自我价值

对于那些暂时还没有一个完美的“是”,而又踌躇于不知是否说不的人,我们必须弄清楚自己的想法,知道自己的价值和明确自己的需要。有时候一个“不”其实是被一个深深隐藏的“是”而包围的。举例来说:你对对方的价值观是肯定的,对于战略则否定,直到肯定了才会继续谈。因此Ury认为这是一种积极的否定。但是,他也提醒我们如果你在徘徊,踌躇之中,那么答案很可能就是否定的。

因此,我从Ury那里得到了什么呢?我知道一个很好的谈判其实是一个很好的自我认知和良好的人际交往技巧的结合。当然,毋庸置疑,这也是你生活中所经历过的事情的综合体现。

其实,在我们的生活中,总是有无数的机会让我们不断进行谈判练习,甚至,如Web Worker Daily 所指出的,哪怕在写邮件的时候。你可以和你的配偶,和老板,甚至和你那个不清理院子的邻居练习。在小事情练习的越好,在大事情谈判时就越有把握。

译者的话:

谈判时一门艺术,谈判时要沉得住气,要明确自己的价值,明确自己想要达成怎样的协议,在此基础上先听对方的阐述,然后找到切入点,把自己的观点摆出来。毕竟,这是谈判,谈判的最佳结果是达到双赢的状态,而我们如果没有表明自己的立场的话,谈判将会有失偏颇。

[每周阅读] 《同学少年都不践》

 

book 2 《同学少年都不践》是张爱玲晚期作品,而且在她生前一直没有出版,总归是有理由的。

我不是张迷,但是依然会有很多张迷没有看过这本书。

读罢,依然觉得张的文字比较晦涩,像往常一样,要费很大劲读下来的,或者是因为她一贯的思维方式和表达方式吧。但是,总体而言,这本书在不知不觉中就已经让你融入了其中的些许炎凉世故之中。

故事由一开始的几个同学伙伴的关系开始讲起,那个时候,流行朋友抢朋友,那个时候,也有些许女孩子喜欢女孩子,但是这种喜欢仅仅只是很单纯的喜欢。

同学少年都不践,为什么都不践?践又与什么相对比呢?无非与长大了之后的分道扬镳的结果相比较。

少年时代的赵珏喜欢恩娟,甚至会嫉妒恩娟跟别的女孩子在一起。可是,后来,恩娟果真嫁给了那个犹太人汴·李外,后来移民美国华盛顿,而赵珏则经常与姨妈做生意,居无定所。到恩娟都已经有了两个孩子的时候,赵珏依然独自一人。

长大之后的他们,也有过几次见面,但每次见面的情景,都在张的笔下,被描写得逼真及至,直击人的内心。不知所措的用来掩饰的虚假拥抱,没话找话的似乎为了挽救曾经的友谊,交谈的内容敷衍了事,却不再有多深入。

其实,现在的我们又何尝不是如此呢?人长大了之后,曾经的友谊却萎缩了。不知道人们都在害怕着什么……

张略带调侃的轻松的描写,却让读者更加容易领会其中的世事变迁,人间沧桑。或许,社会越是物质的,人也变得物质,但是,如果社会超过了一定程度的物质,那么人会不会再变得纯真和友爱一点呢?

下面的是其他网友的读后感分享:

 

“同学少年都不贱,五陵裘马自轻肥” ,张爱玲《同学少年都不贱》正是袭用杜工部的《秋兴八首》中此句之意。在我看来,这部小说无疑带有某种程度的自传色彩。

[女人专栏]如何让自己更美丽之自制去痘面膜

面膜1 去痘面膜DIY

是不是一直被痘痘困扰着?要不试试网友推荐的以下自制去痘面膜方案?

胡萝卜面膜DIY:
取鲜胡萝卜洗净,捣碎,将捣碎的胡萝卜及其汁液,加入面粉再捣成泥,将胡萝卜泥敷脸,隔日一次,10分钟即可。胡萝卜面膜有祛除青春痘、化斑痕、疗暗疮、抗面皱纹的功效。  

白菜叶面膜DIY:
采购新鲜大白菜,取下整片菜叶洗净,将大白菜叶碾压呈网糊状,将网糊状的菜叶贴在脸上,每10分钟更换1张叶片,连换3张。每天做一次。白菜叶面膜有治疗青春痘和嫩白皮肤的功效,是简便廉价的除痘良方。这个方法源于土耳其民间,那里的妇女皮肤白嫩,很少出现痘痘类皮肤病,就是因为她们经常用大白菜叶来贴脸。

芦荟面膜DIY:
取鲜芦荟叶1片,洗净切成小片,放入锅中,加水500毫升煮沸后再小火煮15分钟,滤去芦荟渣,取虑液,加入蜂蜜即成。饮用同时,用鲜芦荟切片涂抹青春痘,每日1次。芦荟面膜芦荟有抗菌、消炎和缓泻的作用,可以排毒养颜,对去痘有较好的疗效。

番茄草莓面膜DIY
鲜番茄1个,鲜草莓2个。将番茄洗净,撕去外皮,草莓去蒂洗净,同时挤压成果汁即成,用果汁涂搽面部痤疮,每日早晚各一次,30分钟洗去。茄莓面膜果汁富含维生素C、胡萝卜素,可抗病毒细菌,有清热解毒的功效,且具有美白皮肤的作用。也可单用番茄汁或草莓汁涂脸。

自制紧服面膜

材料:绿茶粉1小匙、蛋黄1个、面粉1.5大匙字串6
制作方法:在面粉中加入蛋黄搅拌后,再加入绿茶粉混合。
使用方法:将做成的绿茶面膜敷盖整个脸部,再铺上一层微湿的面纸,停留在脸上约5-10分钟后,用冷水或温水洗净。敷了面膜后的肌肤会很敏感,请勿立即上妆。即使要化妆也请薄薄地涂上一点化妆水或乳液即可。敷面后触摸肌肤,会立即感到皮肤很光滑。
美丽秘诀:使用富含维生素C的绿茶粉自制面膜,对肌肤有很好的美白效果。与同样富含维生素C的柠檬比,绿茶不含酸性,不会刺激皮肤。
适用:25岁以上所有要对抗皱纹和松弛皮肤的女性。